The father of the bride speech, done properly.

You usually speak first. That means three jobs at once:

• Welcome the room. Many guests have travelled. Some have never met each other. Make them feel held.
• Honour your daughter. Tell us who she is — not who she was at five.
• Set up the next two speakers. Don't steal their material. Don't run long.

1. Welcome — guests, families, anyone who's travelled (45 seconds).
2. Thanks — fellow hosts, venue, anyone who made today possible (30 seconds).
3. Your daughter — two short stories that show who she is now (2–3 minutes).
4. Welcoming the partner — and their family into yours (60–90 seconds).
5. Wisdom & toast — one piece of advice, then raise your glass (45 seconds).

Specifically name who's travelled the furthest, or who hasn't been in a room with everyone else for years. One or two warm sentences. Don't list every guest.

"Some of you have flown from three continents to be here today. Others have driven down from Newcastle, which is arguably further. Either way — thank you. Today belongs to all of you."

Pick stories that show who she is now, not who she was at five. The room knows she was once small; tell them who she became.

• The moment you noticed she'd grown up — not the photo, the actual moment.
• A specific quality you admire in her now, with a story that proves it.

"When Emma was twenty, she rang me at midnight to ask if she could quit her job and move to Lisbon. I asked her if she'd thought it through. She said yes. She had. She always had. The Emma you all know is the one who, when she decides something, has already done the work."

One specific reason you're glad he/she is in your family now. Not flattery — a real reason. The partner's parents are in the room; bring them in too.

"When James first came to lunch, he asked Emma's mum about her garden and listened to the answer. That was the day I knew. To James, and to the Edwards family — welcome."

One piece of advice — short, real, not a Hallmark card. Then the toast.

"The advice I'd give you is the only advice that's ever worked for me and her mother: be on the same team. Argue badly, apologise quickly, and never let the small stuff become the big stuff. Please raise your glasses — to Emma and James."