The traditional UK order
The classic UK order has stood the test of time because it builds: warm welcome, gracious thanks, then a payoff.
- Father of the bride — welcomes guests, toasts the couple.
- Groom — thanks the hosts and bridal party, toasts his partner.
- Best man — roasts the groom (kindly), toasts the couple.
The US order
US receptions typically open with the best man and maid of honour, often during or just after the meal.
- Best man — short toast, often standing.
- Maid of honour — short toast to the bride.
- Optional: parents, couple, friends — usually shorter than the UK equivalent.
Modern variations
- The bride speaks. Either alongside the groom or solo. Often the best speech of the night.
- Parents from both sides. Mother of the bride and a parent of the groom each get a turn.
- Couple speech. Bride and groom together, trading lines.
- Open mic, capped. Three pre-warned friends, two minutes each, hosted by your MC. Risky but memorable.
Timings for the whole block
A realistic plan for 5 speakers:
- Intro + first speech: 7 min
- Transition + second: 6 min
- Transition + third: 8 min
- Transition + fourth: 5 min
- Transition + closer: 7 min
- Buffer + toasts: 3 min
Total: ~35 minutes. Anything more, start cutting.
Before or after the meal?
Before — speakers eat properly, nerves done. Risk: hungry guests.
After — guests are fed and warmed up. Risk: speakers stew through the meal.
Split — father of the bride before the starter (welcome), groom and best man after the main. Many planners now prefer this.
Brief your MC
Give your MC, toastmaster, or best man one printed page:
- Names in order, with pronunciations.
- One line of intro per speaker (relationship, not job).
- The exact phrase to start the toast at the end of each.
- A signal you'll use if anything needs to move.
FAQs
What's the traditional wedding speech order?
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In the UK: father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man. In the US: best man and maid of honour at the reception, often after the meal. Modern weddings mix and match.
How long should the speeches take in total?
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Plan for 25–35 minutes including transitions. Anything over 45 minutes and the room starts checking watches.
When do speeches happen — before or after the meal?
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Two common choices. Before the meal: nerves are dealt with, everyone can enjoy dinner. After the meal: people are warmed up and fed. Both work; pick one and brief everyone.
Does the bride give a speech?
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Increasingly, yes. Many brides give their own speech, or speak alongside the groom as a couple. There's no rule — do what you want.
Who introduces the speakers?
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The MC, the toastmaster, or the best man. Whoever it is needs the running order, the names (with correct pronunciations), and a microphone that works.
Can we change the order?
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Yes. The traditional order exists for flow, not law. Common modern variants: the bride speaks, the couple speak together, parents from both sides speak.