Step 1: Decide the feeling
Before you write a word, decide what you want the room to feel when you sit down. One word. Moved. Proud. Charmed. Warm. Surprised.
That word is your editor for everything that follows.
Step 2: Gather memories
Open a doc. Set a 15-minute timer. Write down everything you can think of about the person — without filtering.
- Habits, quirks, things they always say
- Days you remember vividly
- Times they showed up for you
- The first time you met
- The moment you knew they'd found their person
Step 3: Pick the two stories
From the dump, pick two. One that shows who they are. One that shows why they've found the right partner.
Test: would the people who know them best agree with the story you're telling? If yes, keep. If no, swap.
Step 4: Write the toast first
Write the last sentence. Then write back from it.
Most weak speeches don't know where they're going. Strong speeches know the destination before they start the journey.
Step 5: Draft fast, edit slow
- Write a messy full draft in 45 minutes. Don't edit while writing.
- Walk away for a day.
- Edit out loud — read every sentence aloud and cut anything you wouldn't actually say.
Step 6: Cut 20%
Every speech is 20% too long after the first draft. Cut clichés, second-best jokes, every "as you all know", every "I'd just like to take a moment to…".
Tight beats long. Always.
Step 7: Cue cards & rehearsal
- Print on small index cards. Bullets only — never full sentences.
- Mark pauses and emphasis in pen.
- Read aloud six times, standing up.
- Time it. Add 15% for laughs and breath.
- Bring two copies on the day — one in your pocket, one with the MC.
FAQs
How long does it take to write a wedding speech?
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Plan for 4–6 hours total, spread across two to three weeks. A few short sessions beat one long one.
Where do I start?
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With the toast — the last line. Decide what you want the room to feel at the end. Then work backwards.
What's the basic structure?
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Opener, thanks (brief), one or two stories, tribute, toast. Roughly five parts, total 5–7 minutes.
Should I write it from scratch?
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You can — or you can drop a few memories into a tool like In Your Words, get a first draft in 90 seconds, and edit from there.
Do I need to memorise it?
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No. Use cue cards with bullets. Memorising makes you sound flat.