Writing tips
- 1. Start with the toast. Know the line you'll end on. Write back from there.
- 2. Pick two stories, not five. Density kills warmth.
- 3. Be specific. Real names, real places, real lines they said.
- 4. Punch up, not down. Self-deprecate. Don't roast the bride.
- 5. Write how you talk. Read aloud as you write. Cut anything you wouldn't say in real life.
Editing tips
- 6. Cut 20% on the second pass. Always.
- 7. Cut every "as you all know". They don't, or they do, either way it's dead weight.
- 8. Replace every "amazing" with a real adjective. Same with "lovely", "incredible", "wonderful".
- 9. Cut clichés on contact. "Tying the knot", "better half", "ball and chain" — out.
- 10. Get one trusted reader. Not three. One person who'll tell you when it's flat.
Rehearsal tips
- 11. Read it aloud six times before printing cue cards. You'll find the rhythm.
- 12. Time it. Spoken pace adds 15% to silent reading time.
- 13. Mark pauses. Use ‖ or // on cue cards where you want the room to laugh or breathe.
- 14. Rehearse standing up. Sitting and standing voices are different.
- 15. Practise the toast last line in the mirror. Eye contact, not paper.
Delivery tips
- 16. Slow down. Then slow down again.
- 17. Wait for the laugh. Don't talk over it. It's the room saying thank you.
- 18. Look up at the end of every sentence. Even just at the back wall.
- 19. Hold the toast. Pause before "to Sarah and Tom." Land it.
On-the-day tips
- 20. Eat a bit, drink a little, then stop. Two drinks max before you speak.
- Print two copies of your cue cards. Leave one in your jacket pocket.
- Pee before speeches start. Sounds silly. Isn't.
- Find one friendly face in the crowd to anchor to.
- If something goes wrong, don't apologise. Smile, pause, carry on.
FAQs
How early should I start writing?
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Six weeks before the wedding for a first draft, two weeks for the final, one week for rehearsals. Less than that and you'll feel it on the night.
How long should it be?
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Five to seven minutes is the sweet spot for most roles. Father of the bride often 6–8, best man 5–7, maid of honour 4–6.
Should I memorise it?
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No. Use cue cards. Memorising makes you sound flat and recall-anxious. Bullet points free you up to be present.
What if my voice shakes?
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Pause. Take one breath. Keep going. The room is on your side.
What's the single best tip?
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Be specific. Real names, real days, real lines. Specificity is what makes a speech yours.